Friday, January 29, 2016

"Online Kratom" Uber Review by Maniac Leer

*The following review was written by one of our certified assistant reviewers, Maniac Leer and revised by Klato.

Photo by Maniac Leer
Adrian over at Online Kratom sent me out 5 samples of their best sellers to review.  Let me just say Adrian is very friendly, helpful and knowledgeable.  His customer service is excellent. I would e-mail him and within the hour I would hear. Online kratom is unique in that they offer kratom fusions I know a lot of people mix their strains to get the best of all worlds when it comes to color, but in this case it is already formulated for you. I’m a lazy guy; the idea of pre-mixed Kratom intrigued me.The shipping was also very fast. He sent the samples out on a Saturday and it arrived Monday.

Customer Service: 8/10
Shipping: 8/10

Onto the samples.  He sent out 3 sedating strains, including: Kali Red Indo, Shiva Red Maeng Da and Indra Fusion.  1 stimulating/energetic strain which was Ganesha Fusion. Lastly, 1 "neutral" strain, Brahma Bali. Naming their blends after Hindu deities was rather clever.

All samples were tested with 5 grams in my incense bowl.

Kali Red Indo

Photo by Maniac Leer
The first sample I tried was the kali.  The aroma was very earthy but definitely stronger than I am used to, which is a good thing. It was very sweet, less bitter than most but almost a little to strong of a scent at first. I could feel the onset of the aroma withing 10-15 minutes. A strong wave of numbness washed over me, something like the effects of a muscle relaxant.

While it initially packs a good kick of energy, this fades after about 30 minutes. After this I felt a slight head buzz and floaty sensation. What i notice now more than anything is that my pain has vanished. I am still healing from a broken bone I got last Nonmember. Simply walking is still a daily struggle. In addition to this, I also have severe nerve pain as a results of diabetes. The aroma of the Red Indo is powerful enough to make walking without agony feasible.

The strain is very sedating. If I closed my eyes at any point I would almost fall asleep. In fact, that night I slept longer than I have in months. I usually only get about 6-7 hours of sleep, but last night I got 9!

Aroma: 6.0/10
Mood Enhancement: 2.0/10
Pain Relief: 9.5/10
Stimulation/Energy: 3.0/10
Overall: 9.0/10

Shiva Maeng Da

Photo by Maniac Leer
I decided to sample Shiva the following night. As the effects began to wash over me I felt a similar numbing sensation but not quite as pronounced as the Kali Red Indo. The aroma was very earthy, a rather standard smell for kratom.  The taste

This strain is markedly less less potent than the kali, so if the kali is too sedating then the Shiva is a good alternative. My pain was minimal but still noticeable.

On the flip side, this strain has a pronounced level of mood enhancement not as prominent in the kali. Like many strains, it gives an initial rush of energy that soon subsides.  The numbing sensation in the head and body was pleasing and not too overpowering. The effects lasted a total of 5-6 hours.

Aroma: 5.0/10
Mood Enhancement: 6.0/10
Pain Relief: 7.0/10
Stimulation/Energy: 2.0/10
Overall: 8.0/10

Indra Fusion

Photo by Maniac Leer
Indra  Fusion is a red vein mixed with a green vein in addition to blue lotus and karna extracts.  The aroma id fruity and sweet, almost like unsweetened chocolate. Due to the blend of red and green, I expected something between sedating and stimulating. I have tried blue lotus tea before and it was slightly sedating, so I expect its presence in the incense blend would give off a sedating scent.

The effects of the aroma became quickly apparent; I felt my eyelids get slightly heavy. I could sense mood enhancement at first but this faded to baseline after about an hour or so. This was followed by a short burst of energy similar to drinking a strong cup of coffee without the unwelcome edgy.

This blend excels particularly in pain relief. My pain had gone from 9 out of 10 to a 2, possibly even a 1 at times.  While sedating, it fortunately didn't turn me into a zombie.  The sedation makes it a great blend for curbing insomnia. Effects lasted around 4.5-5 hours total.

Aroma: 7.0/10
Mood Enhancement: 4.0/10
Pain Relief: 8.0/10
Stimulation/Energy: 3.5/10
Overall: 8.6/10

Ganesha Fusion

Photo by Maniac Leer
Ganesha fusion was described to me as a more stimulating blend.  I have never tried a fusion or mixed kratom strains so I was excited to say the least.  I decided to try the strain in the morning to see how its effects worked during my work day.

The aroma was light when compared to red veins.  Don’t let that fool you though--this is a very potent strain.  I was listening to music when the effects started to kick in.  Right away I noticed the music jumped at me and songs that normally strike me as nondescript seemed to really pop.  I noticed myself bobbing my head to music I typically would never groove to.

Colors all around me popped and everything was more vivid and exciting.  The energy rush it gave was incredibly stimulating. like after an excessive amount of coffee minus the jitteriness and anxiety.  It made me feel amped enough to get up and do some exercising, and I usually hate exercising. For the gamers out there it was like ‘God Mode’ had been activated, like nothing was impossible.

In fact, I got all my work done in a fraction of the usual time.  It also offered a good amount of pain relief, great since I was at work and a sedating strain would have hindered my progress. The focus it gave was magnificent and never overwhelming. I only wish it had lasted a little longer. Effects subsided after about 3-3.5 hours.

Aroma: 7.0/10
Mood Enhancement: 3.0/10
Pain Relief: 5.0/10
Stimulation/Energy: 8.0/10
Overall: 8.2/10

Brahma Bali

Photo by Maniac Leer
Adrian described this one to me as a neutral strain/fusion. The smell was almost sour with a touch of earthiness. It was simultaneously tangy and sweet. Effect kicked in quick, faster than any other strain I had tried. Brahma Bali's mood enhancement effects were the most prominent of all the samples. I felt like I could just melt into the couch and relax there all day.

The pain relief it was very welcoming--not as significant as the sedating strains, but it still effectively reduced my pain level to a non-existent state.  There was an initial energy rush that slowly faded.  I felt a slight tingling sensation over my body, and a major tingling sensation in my head.  It made my body feel lazy but my mind was still very clear and focused. My body felt warm; not sweaty, but comfortably warm like being wrapped in a blanket on a cold night.

This fusion makes a great blend for activities such as studying, playing video games, watching TV or internet surfing.  The effects were very long lasting, spanning a solid 6 hours.

Aroma: 5.0/10
Mood Enhancement: 9.0/10
Pain Relief: 6.0/10
Stimulation/Energy: 3.0/10
Overall: 8.9/10

Samples courtesy of Online Kratom

P.S. Only 2 more days left in PD's Cyber Raffle!

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